I know it has been hard for you. It has been hard for me too. I’ve been holding this from the past so many years. Inside me, buried in, bottled in. Holding everything and never letting a single word escape.
It’s been so many years and I’ve never said a word. Saw you passby me, but never said a word. I stood far away, never came close. I braked and parked whenever I saw you cross the road. I’ve followed you, I’ve heard you laugh, I’ve seen you hop around in joy, I’ve seen you pissed at someone, I’ve seen you going panicky on the roads, I’ve seen you rush and I’ve rejoice everything. Except the day when I saw you cry.
I wanted to come to you. I tried, I gathered courage but then someone came to you. Someone you knew. Someone who could make you laugh. I stood there and wished he would go. And he did. But you went away too.
I saw you in relationships, I saw your breaking up and I saw you breaking down. I’ve seen you in school, I’ve seen you in high school, I’ve seen you in college and I’ll see you in university. We used to sit on adjacent benches. We used to walk back home together. We used to go out together. Or I believed we did.
We talked long hours, we chatted long nights, we stayed up together and discussed homework. Or rather, I believed we did.
It has been years since then. We stayed in touch for quite a while after that. Our chats eventually got shorter. They got limited to afternoon. And eventually we lost touch. It has been months since I last saw you. I think you don’t even know if I exist anymore.
But today, I’ve suited up. I know my shoes are polished and I’ve checked myself in the mirror longer than what it took me to dress up. I’ve popped in millions of mints and have applied multiple bottles of perfume. They were all the same, but more the better. Even my dog won’t recognize me with this smell. Unless he remembers my face.
I know you are not dating anyone. I know you would be surprised to see me. I know it will all come as a shock to you, but I’ve to do it. I know you don’t expect anything more than friendship from me. I know, or I believe I know everything. But, I’m going to ask you only for a date. One outing. We’ll talk again. We’ll laugh again and we’ll walk back home together again.
We’ll start talking again. We’ll start laughing again. But this time we won’t lose contact. It might not turn up well for me, it might not sound good to you. But in the worst case, we’ll be best friends.