We Must Never Give Up the Fight,
The Moment We Do, We have Lost.
A lot of you have been asking me, why have I stopped using #makeherlisten. Have I given up the fight? Well, here’s the answer, no, I haven’t. Read what derived us here in the first part here – Fight – An Attempt At Apology
I’m still fighting, that guy is still fighting, but only because of all of you, your support and shares, we don’t need to make her listen anymore, because, she heard. We reached her, she heard us, she read the article and then they met. So, this article is a closure to all of you, who have been a part of this.
Just like that article, this one is written on a special day for our protagonist. I don’t know when I’ll publish this, but I’m writing this on his birthday.
Let’s make her listen what our protagonist – let’s call him Aahaan – what Aahaan thought and went thorough before meeting her and when he met her. What he wanted to say, what he said and what he meant.
One thing I adore about the two of these. Even though they met after years and they’ve had their own distances, they met at their most vulnerable points and had no tension between their talks. There was tension about not being close but not in the talks. The met like they met yesterday and have been meeting everyday.
“It’s me, Aisha.”
“I know that already”
“I read the… blog, Aahaan.” She said between sobs and broke down. I don’t know why but this part is the most unsettling for me. Why did she cry?
“Can we talk, like normally? Is anyone around?”
“No.” I said looking at my mom and smiled at her. “Say”
“Can you come to meet me? Now.” She didn’t stop crying.
“Okay, what happened? Stop crying okay.”
“Okay, I’m coming just stop crying. Meet me at…”
I had been dreaming of this since ever. I stood in front of the mirror and thought for a while. I need to make my hair, but beard? Okay, let the beard be, I’ll just comb my hair and what should I wear? Should I even go? She’s dating someone right?
I have had this conversation a thousand time in my mind. I won’t go to meet her no matter what happens. She’s dating someone else. If I go there I’m only going to hurt myself, her and her relationship. Of all the things in the world the one thing I don’t want to do is hurt her. I could put my hand in a crocodile’s mouth but never hurt her.
But she was crying on the phone and she’s hurt. I couldn’t hurt her worse or maybe I could? If I don’t meet her now, I will be hurting her. What do I do? I picked up a t-shirt, wore my slippers and then stood at the main door, I’ll get my motorcycle or walk?
If I walk it will take longer, I need to get the motorcycle. But if I stay here wearing my vest, shoes, helmet, gloves and all the biking gear, I’ll be late. So, I ran downstairs and picked up my motorcycle, kick started it and raced through the street. With no gear, it felt a bit weird, but I had somewhere to be.
“Bike?” she asked as I reached there. Well, I should have just walked.
I used to walk miles to meet her, I weighed a 115lbs or 52kgs a few years back when I last met her. My body fat was 6%, while over the 3 years, I’m 3 inches taller, weigh 140lbs or 64kgs and have ideal fat percentage and significant muscle mass.
With the long beard and full frame specs I had a new look, while she looked exactly the same. Skinny, hazel eyes, slumped shoulders, shiny brunette hair, soft hands and everything I’ve been searching for ever since. Failed, but I’m trying. I could write another post about how she looks.
I parked my ride and got off.
“Aahaan, not here, this is where we were caught.” She said and then I followed her to a much calmer place. Her uncle had seen us fooling around, we didn’t meet on my birthday and 5 years from then, I still don’t celebrate that dreadful day.
“Now, what happened to you?”
“Nothing, I just broke up with him… he has bee…” She broke down. If I were the guy typing this, I won’t understand what she said but there’s something special about all of this. She raps her words when she’s happy and eats then up when she’s crying. You don’t listen to her then, you listen to her eyes.
I don’t want to share what she said, she doesn’t, so I don’t want to either but, in a nutshell she broke up with her guy.
You only know how lonely you are,
When you don’t have a shoulder to cry on.
“Are you dating? If you are we shouldn’t meet”
“He said you are.”
“I’m saying, I’m not.” I tried to say with a smile. It was hard, every time she mentioned him and broke down it was hard on me, but I had to stand there. Be with her. I had made enogh memories to live for a life, than to get into another relationship and spoil these. I wouldn’t be able to not call her “Aisha”.
I offered her chocolates and then she friend zoned me. She asked me about holding multiple cellphones and then rubbed her mascara off with her tears. We both got distracted by a feeding crow, and then she remembered how jolly I used to be. Hopping around the street and stuff. Then she looked at the time on her watch, and then I said you finally bought a watch. You don’t need me for it now.
I asked her about the ring and claimed to have a photo of it, and then she showed of her bracelet and said no one ever saw this. She laughed when we went to the past and cried in the present. I told her it was my fault and I shouldn’t have let her make that decision on her own. I said I should have supported her. And then she realized we were just kids.
“You know when I was with you I, I was happy and in this relationship I’ve been crying every night.”
“Of all the things we had, at least you remember one thing. We were happy. I thought you forgot everything, just like you forgot me.”
She thought it’s the Karma being mean to her. She though what she did is upon her. She asked me how did I move on while I’ve been thinking about her all these years. I said I haven’t and then she said not to make it difficult for her, as if it was easy for me.
She told me not to blog this and I asked to keep in touch. She said you want everything, I asked what do I have. For that second, I thought I would have regretted if I hadn’t met her, while the other me knew it was the other way around. I went home and contacted her, and haven’t heard from her ever since.
She blocked me everywhere, she didn’t even spare the calls. When she wished to call me over, she texted and then called. I’ve been trying from past three years and she hasn’t received a word. This meet, was what I’ve been asking for from past so many years.
A closure to end the terms and be a free man. But, I was tied up and knocked to ground because I’ve been stupid my entire life. I wish I never said, you know how to find me when I lasted texted her years ago. I wish I had been to moon and never returned.
She thought it’s all happening with her because of what she did to me.
I told her you made me Aisha, and never broke me.